SING WHEN YOU’RE WINNING?
It begins as any match track will have to – with a line of well-known observation – even though in moderately un-English style it celebrates precise luck – the European Championship win in 2022. “Chloe Kelly! England are history-makers, record-breakers, game-changers,” chimes the commentator focusing on positive vibes rather than the more traditional collection of snapshots of failure, but here we are.
A World Cup is upon us and England are heading to Australia (and New Zealand) in the hope of upgrading from Euros winners to world champions. They are not favorites but they do have their own song, Call Me A Lioness thanks to an array of voices from Melanie C to Self Esteem and, on drums, Sports Team’s Alex Greenwood, who happens to have the same name as an England defender to bring a high-level of synergy to this concept. It is quite a melodic number, mainly because it is sung by actual professional singers rather than two comedians, which makes a change. “It was just a bunch of mates coming together to make a song about football,” chirped the manufacturer, Joel Pott.
Sarina Wiegman’s side have not scored in their past two matches so need a confidence boost in lyrics. “We’re going to Down Under, putting 10 past the ‘keeper, it’s easy to believe when you’ve got a Sarina.” Time will tell whether the song has foretold the future. Haiti is first up.
England are following a number of historical precedents going into the tournament, mainly that they are not favorites and the main hope is they will reach the later stages through pure pluck. Few others have put in the effort to produce a song or, at least, market it sufficiently that we could find it on the internet. Come On Ireland (Giving Us The Right To Dream) is, unsurprisingly, backing the Irish. Hot Press have managed to get some backing vocals from president Michael D Higgins. Again, it’s far more melodic than what we’ve come to expect, making for a rather polite rap battle, but it does have a certain ring to it.
There is, additionally, an official tournament song that Fifa has kindly produced for our ears, titled Do It Again, that informs the listener to “now not pressure” nor “overthink”, two sensible proposals for those watching in Europe because they will be quite sleepy while many of the early matches are on. This will be the biggest and best World Cup yet, as we are all repeatedly told, and who can argue when we are blessed with music like this?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Somebody was impersonating someone from Ilkeston Town. In all senses it seemed genuine. We wanted to get a game on for Tuesday or Wednesday night, and if there is any team who wants to get a game on then we’d love them to get in touch” – Daventry chief suit Steve Tubb appeals for a new pre-season opponent after revealing that they were duped into thinking they had arranged a friendly with the Northern Premier Division side by some b@nter merchant on social media disgrace Twitter. We hear Bayern Munich are competitive (see below).
RUTHLESS PEOPLE
“The highlights from tonight’s 27–0 win over Rottach-Egern” – in what must be a video of similar length to The Godfather II, Bayern post the best bits from their annual pre-season spanking of FC Rottach-Egern on social media disgrace Twitter. In three games, the aggregate score is 70-2.
The simplest method Bayern’s 27–0 pre-season win can finish is by way of dropping 1–0 to Werder Bremen on Matchday 1” – Krishna Moorthy.
Only a preseason pleasant, however this purpose from Antoni Sarcevic for Stockport County in opposition to Chester is Bergkampesque. And value sharing with readers. Not Bergkamp” – Dan Levy.
I’m certain there may be lots greater than 1,057 pedants who to find your tireless use of unfunny cartoons by way of David Squires, smartly … now not very humorous. Perhaps you might be looking to goal the faithful Beano readers from long ago then? Keep the top down and requirements up and you’ll way the heady heights of the vintage Dennis the Menace!” – Ray Griffin (and no different comic-strip haters).
I discovered myself questioning what Jonathan Woodgate (Memory Lane, the day gone by’s complete e-mail model) used to be attempting to reach with that Jesus Hairdo. History has it he had a Disco Down and were given Caught by way of the Fuzz, however then he will have been Loaded on the time. Perhaps he concept it used to be the Sale of the Century when he went to Madrid, however he wasn’t Made of Stone and sooner or later he will have to have concept ‘The State I’m In’ and needed to Start Again. I’m hoping it ended in him Waking Up and in addition he wasn’t a Daydreamer, as a result of Menswear had been cr@p” – Jon Millard (and no different enthusiasts of 90s bangers).
I did benefit from the Willian gag it used to be in point of fact not anything [on Monday], If The Fiver likes the Smiths then perhaps it might undertake considered one of their songs as a theme music? That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore Maybe?, Simon Dunsby,
Send your letters to [email protected]. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Dan Levy,